3 Ways To Make An Open Adoption Easier

In the United States, around 55% of adoptions are fully open while another 40% are mediated. A fully open adoption involves direct contact between one or more of the birth parents and the adoptive family. A mediated adoption involves the exchange of letters, photos, videos, and information between the two parties through an adoption agency or dedicated mediation company, like http://www.achildsdream.org or other organizations. Open adoptions can be positive for everyone involved because the adopted child may have fewer questions about their birth parents, the adoptive parents will have a more thorough familial medical history, and the biological parents can stay involved in their child's life.

However, it can be difficult at times and conflict may arise between the biological and adoptive parents. To make an open adoption easier, it is important to prepare in the following ways. 

Create a Detailed Plan With Both Parties 

One of the main reasons open adoptions can be difficult is that each person involved has different expectations. Before beginning an open adoption, it is beneficial to set clear ground rules. This should include the amount of interaction the biological parents will have with the adoptive family and the child as well as the type of interaction. For example, will visits be supervised or will the biological parent offer babysitting services on a weekly basis? Is it okay for the adoptive parents to call the biological parents at any time or should communication be limited to scheduled check-ins? 

Both sides need to be open and honest about their hopes and expectations. Once you have come to an agreement, it is a good idea to put the agreement in writing to help mediate future conflicts. 

Be Prepared to Be Flexible 

Raising a child is not an exact science and you may be faced with situations that you did not expect. Perhaps the birth mother will find it difficult to spend time with her child on a weekly basis and will need to reduce the amount of visits she has. Maybe the adoptive family will have to relocate. It is important to realize that everyone involved will have to make adjustments as the child grows and the situation changes. 

Practice Consistency 

Whatever agreement you come to, it is important to be consistent. This allows everyone involved to know what to expect. If you need to change your agreement for any reason, you should give advanced notice. If either the adoptive parents or biological parents fail to meet the expectations of the agreement, it can lead to tension, hurt feelings, and confusion, especially for the child. 

Every adoption is unique. With the rise of open adoptions, the amount of contact biological parents have with their children varies greatly. It is important to create a plan that works for everyone involved. 

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